Friends with benefits

I went out with the Former Boyfriend Candidate last night. Just friends, I’m not starting that up again. It was interesting to be out with him after not seeing him for so long. He is exactly the same: same complaints about work, same annoying idiosyncracies, same ability to drink three margaritas, three vodka tonics and a glass of wine and still stand up. Same pretty blue eyes.

So naturally after all that drinking he wanted to analyze our relationship. Annoying. He had a lot to say and had obviously been rehearsing either in his head or in front of the bathroom mirror. After I listened to his yadda yadda about what kindred spirits we were, I gave him my latest musings about the 90% gap. I told him that he was at 90% and at any other time in life that would probably be enough. But I’m old and picky. I spent twenty years of my life with a guy who was less than 100% and I wasn’t going to make any more personal investments in less than perfect. I can be inflexible too.

He told me whatever relationship we had was fine with him as long as we were together in some way. Friendship worked for him. Then he told me he had “deep feelings” for me. I started laughing. He reprimanded me for that. He was baring his soul and I was laughing at him. Well, for me that’s part of the missing 10%: he can’t say he loves me. He never could. He has deep feelings though. It’s sad and laughable.

So we made out for a few minutes, because I guess that’s what friends do, drunk friends any way. Then I told him to beat it. He completely appreciated the double entendre. And that is why I put up with this guy.


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