So the Boyfriend Candidate and I are no longer whatever it is we were. He told me a couple of weeks ago that if he didn’t take the initiative to call me, he doubted he would hear from me again. This from the man who told me he didn’t like women calling him. So I called any way, left a message. That was nine days ago. So I guess that means I can call him and he still won’t hear from me again.
I suspect a test is in play. It’s not really good enough that I called him once. He wants me to call him repeatedly, even frantically which would prove how much I need him and provide the high drama he craves. I’m not about to do that. The last time we spoke his business was failing (again) and he had no back up plan (again) and he wanted sympathy (again). He’s a victim (yawn).
But I need to admit: very simply, he’s not the guy for me. I’m tickled by him, but not in love with him. He is too high maintenance, and I don’t want to take care of anyone else. Ultimately, I may not have that to give until my kids are out of the house.
He did hang with me during a low point in my life. Divorce, joblessness, child support issues. In fact I now think he was attracted to me for these very reasons. It’s no coincidence that as these issues dropped off one by one, his phone calls became more sporadic. He is a compulsive problem solver. For over a year I was his favorite problem then I had the nerve to solve them and move forward.
He’s a good friend, my best friend really, and I’ll miss that. But I don’t feel like it’s a lost opportunity and I certainly don’t have any regrets. I have three boys I need to make men and that takes my time and energy. In the end the BC was a guy I met in a bar.