Since when did babysitters get the power to control our lives? I recently noticed that my whole social life revolves around high school prom, weekend visits with out of town dads and boyfriends in college coming back to town.
I recently heard myself tell my boyfriend candidate “I’ll check with my sitter and see if I can go.” What is that about? A whole lifetime of asking your parents for permission to go out. Then I got married and it was another seventeen years of checking with him first to make sure there weren’t other plans brewing. And now that he’s gone, I have to check with the sitter.
I’m wondering if there really is any such thing as independence. And I’m guessing not when you have kids. Interestingly, it’s not just the kids who make you interdependent, it’s their support staff: the sitters, the grandparents, the game schedule, the play dates, the play rehearsals. It all orders my life in a way that leaves me truly out of control.
When I got divorced that was something I was looking forward to, right? My choices, my desires, the time to ask what do I want? Now I’m thinking I’ll have to wait for the kids to graduate from college and get out of the house. Two events that don’t necessarily coincide any more.
I suppose it’s possible that when that times come, I’ll have to check with the nurse at my assisted living facility to see if I can get a weekend pass.